Jessjourney

good morning everyone, today is day 5 and  it had went well so far. I came home from my first job this morning and my huband wanted to make me breakfast and asked what he could make how sweet is that! So he made me eggs with only one egg yoke with onion and celery and had one pice of wheat bread it was really good and was so cool that he was helpful and caring that made my day start out great. Im really sressing tomorrow its my family get together for my bday and they want cake and ice cream and my first weight in is sunday and I dont want to mess up suffering all week long for one pice of cake and icecream any suggestions anyone? Hope everyone has a great and easy day 2day

so day 4 proved to be hard. I felt like I was starving all day even though i was eating finally I ate dinner and my belly felt good. I first wanted icecream and then i wanted a pizza from this place up the street with the best pizza around omg ahhhhhhh it drove me nuts i really felt like i wanted to cry then my poor husband lol got chewed out by me for nothing just because i was so frustrated hes a tuff guy luckily. I was so upset, all day I just wanted to give in I was miserable and it just bumbed me out,like, am i going to have to feel this horrible and deprived for the rest of my life-its not natural something is not right, i should be able to eat and feel satisfied. well anyways I watch the biggest looser and they promoted extra gum berry flavored saying that it was proven to help fight cravings which was pretty coinsidental since I had just decided to load up on gum since thats what helped me quite smoking and the gum did help! Its really sweet and the flavor lasted a long time and if you are craving something sweet its a good idea and only 5 cals. so just some friendly advice. I dont know if I wrote this already but nov 1st was my 2 year anniversary of me quitting smoking so nov 2nd i decided to start eating healthy to loose weight i thought it would be very motivational to me if in a year i could have my 3 year no smoking ann and then the next day have my 1 year ann of eating healthy and to see how much weight i have lost and how good i would be feeling so thats what I am trying to use as my motivation. Good luck everyone, tomorrow is day 5 o and i made my first goal to reach 270 my main goal is 180 at 6 foot tall i think that would be healthy my body will be very thankfull all of ours will:)

Hello everyone its day 4. I have done well so far, yesterday was hard ecspecially when I remembered eggnog was out in the stores!!!Ugh. But I stayed away, you know I always thought it cost more to eat healthy but I think I will save money actually. I was spending so much money on fast and junk food each day, even if it was just 2 bucks on mcdonalds cheeseburgers almost every day I was spending. I am going to count each day as I do this because it is really helping me. I have my birthday coning up next tuesday and this sat is my cake and icecream day, I know its ok to have a little bit in celebration and in healthy proportions but its going to make me feel guilty, I guess that will be my mental project foe the week-to remind mysel its ok to have a slice o cake and ice cream for my birthday and not beat myself up or it AND not use it as an excus to go crazy, I can do this

Today was day one of countless attempts to get myself healthy. Ugh, with no motivation I did good today. The money I would normally use to eat crap while Im running around for work I went to the grocery store with and bought healthy foods to make dinner with for the next two nights so im excited about that, and my husband is making it for us so thats pretty cool. I also feel really good making some friends and reading some blogs of people who are saying the exact same things that I am always trying to explain to other people. Not that i am happy others feel this way but glad that there are people who know what I mean without me having to even say it but its cool to vent away. I guess I do have more motivation than I think and a lot of it is this site. I look forward to making some “buddies” and giving and recieving support.

I am so tired of tryig multiple times to loose wieght, I have done it so may times and failed i am now compleytl out of motivatiov. Well, at least that really excited im going to do it this time, motivation. I will be 27 in just a few days and I have the halth problems of my grandmother. From hbp, infertility, ard, week joints, sleep apne,pre diabetic it really could go on and on AND ON its quite rediculous. I am tired of it, I am tired of not being able to breath properly, tired of hurting, tired of having no energy, tired of being heartbroken and breaking the hearts of those who love me. I need support please!!!! It is insane the way food has a hold over me, it makes me feel like I am addicted to a drug. It makes me frustrated when I eat the same meal as others and they are stuffed and I could go for more, and I want to. It pisses me off when I am full to the point of being uncomfortable and I will continue to eat. I have the fear that i will be dead at a very early age due to the health problems  that carry through my family that I am ALREADY showing signs of. So without any motivation and what feels like no support since I have tried and failed so many times I feel others have the “yea horrray ok I will support you for a week” attitude and even though I understand why it still hurts. SO i am trying this again for what I hope will be the last time, I hope I dont loose 40 pounds just to put it back on when Im stressed. I hope to not spend extra money on good food just to let it spoil as i buy crap. I hope that I will find a way to get my energy back to do some sort of avtivity to loose weight and save my life.